Where Montclair Moms Find Their People

Making Room for Motherhood

Motherhood rarely runs on schedule. Babies need feeding, naps change and mornings unravel. Mariel, Founder of The Living Room, understands that connection should not become one more appointment to race toward. At The Living Room, mothers are invited to come as they are, arrive when they can and never feel stressed about being late.

That spirit can be seen in her latest Moms Walking event. There is no pressure to arrive at an exact time or stay for the entire walk. It is simply a chance to get outside, move, talk and meet other mothers who understand. Her events have been so warmly received because they offer something many mothers are missing: an easy, welcoming way to find community in the middle of real life.

At PerchedIN, we were drawn not only to what Mariel is creating, but also to the thoughtful spirit behind it. Here is Mariel’s story, and the story of The Living Room.

When my youngest daughter was about five months old, I started getting nostalgic for college.

Not because of the lack of responsibilities that I now have, but because of the friendships that formed simply from walking into one another's living rooms. There was never a huge agenda—maybe we were studying for a test, watching a TV season finale, or getting ready for a night out. But at the heart of it, we just gathered to, well... gather.

‍Fast forward to me sitting on my own couch years later. My college friends were scattered throughout the country, and my high school friends lived far enough away that visiting them could throw off whatever semblance of a nap schedule I was trying to maintain in hopes that my infant would sleep better that night. The town friends I had already met through my older daughter were busy during the day, and I didn't really know anyone else in the baby stage.

I remember thinking: I need to get out of the house.

I would try a baby class, but sometimes the stress of getting there on time, potentially messing up a nap schedule, and then watching everyone rush home the moment class ended left me feeling like my cup was still unfilled. I had gotten out of the house, but I hadn't necessarily connected with anyone. In short, I felt lonely. I also felt a longing to be around other moms who just got it during this season of life.

I wanted to get out of the house, but I didn't necessarily want to be totally in public. What if I wanted to nurse my baby without wrestling with a cover? What if my baby was fussy? What if she had a blowout? I wanted to hang out with other people in a safe, welcoming space where we could all understand one another.

And I thought: maybe I'm not the only one who feels this way.

So, The Living Room was born.

At its essence, The Living Room is a cozy, low-key way to connect with other women. And while it may take place in different spaces and venues, I hope it always feels like a living room—the kind of place where you can walk in, get comfortable, be yourself, and simply be with other people.

In addition to starting The Living Room, I have been an elementary school teacher for 13 years. One of my favorite parts of teaching has always been creating a classroom community. There is something magical that happens each year when a group of students enters a classroom as strangers and, over time, leaves with shared experiences and a common thread connecting them.

In a much more condensed amount of time, I hope women feel some version of that when they leave a Living Room gathering—that they've found commonality with someone else in the room, had a chance to connect, or simply left feeling a little less alone.

When I decided to put the idea into action, I started looking for local places where we could congregate—because postpartum is hard enough without having to clean your own house before everyone comes over.

I'm so grateful for the wonderful local business owners who were excited about the idea and gave me the opportunity to use their spaces. Wendy at Cornerstone Montclair and Kara at FitLoft have helped make The Living Room possible by opening their doors and allowing this community to gather.

I started with the core of The Living Room: the mommy + baby hangs. These gatherings are two hours long, allowing moms to come and go as it fits into their schedules. There are bagels and coffee, play mats and baby toys—but more than anything, there is simply space to hang out.

As the weeks of mommy + baby hangs went on, I started to realize that moms also needed space to gather without their kids. But I wanted those events to stay true to the core of The Living Room: a place that feels like it's ours, even for a little while, where we can completely unwind and just enjoy being together.

Since then, we've had two Millennial Mom Camp Nights Out, complete with nostalgic snacks, games, and crafts. We're also looking forward to other gatherings, including a personal and career goals workshop, a beginner mahjongg series, and more.

The events may look different, and the locations may change, but I hope the feeling remains the same.

Because at the heart of it, The Living Room is about recreating something that feels increasingly hard to find as adults: a place where you don't need a big reason to get together.

You can just come in, sit down, and gather.

Mariel (Founder: The Living Room)

Contact: @TheLivingRoomSpace